moon phases

Started this before change to "New Blogger", as backup in case of trouble with digiphoto blog "In a Small Dark Room", or rants & links blog "Hello Cruel World" . Useful - at one stage Dark Room was there, but like the astrophysical Dark Matter, we could't see it ... better now, but kept Just In Case.

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There is nothing. There is no God and no universe, there is only empty space, and in it a lost and homeless and wandering and companionless and indestructible Thought. And I am that thought. And God, and the Universe, and Time, and Life, and Death, and Joy and Sorrow and Pain only a grotesque and brutal dream, evolved from the frantic imagination of that same Thought.
Mark Twain (letter to Joseph Twichell after his wife's death)
[me, on a bad day]

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(and my Wish List)

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Got Good News from final superannuation place. Happily they did a transfer straight to a bank account. I would have definitely been freaked out by the size of the cheque & the possibility of losing or having it stolen.

Still slightly stunned.

It's not like "it's all over now", though it sorta does feel that way, but that BIG step towards the end is here. It feels like a lot of money, but it wouldn't buy more than a derelict wreck of a building on a very small block somewhere unfashionable in Sydney. It will let me pay off the mortgages on the two small rented-out places in a small village-growing-into-a-town on the rail line between Sydney and New South Wales' second-largest city, Newcastle, that he bought with his retrenchment payout.

The other most important thing is to also pay back the friends (particularly one), to whom I literally owe $thousands, for bills paid and other monetary support during my illness and the worst of the struggles.

Nearly two years now, getting closer to winding up &, maybe, moving on a bit. Not that he'll be forgotten, but I won't be so completely taken up with just sorting through his things, both actual & metaphorical.

Thoughts and feelings just running round & round. Not making all that much sense.
[permalink] posted by Mez at 9:40 pm