moon phases

Started this before change to "New Blogger", as backup in case of trouble with digiphoto blog "In a Small Dark Room", or rants & links blog "Hello Cruel World" . Useful - at one stage Dark Room was there, but like the astrophysical Dark Matter, we could't see it ... better now, but kept Just In Case.

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There is nothing. There is no God and no universe, there is only empty space, and in it a lost and homeless and wandering and companionless and indestructible Thought. And I am that thought. And God, and the Universe, and Time, and Life, and Death, and Joy and Sorrow and Pain only a grotesque and brutal dream, evolved from the frantic imagination of that same Thought.
Mark Twain (letter to Joseph Twichell after his wife's death)
[me, on a bad day]

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WRITER'S LINKS
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Everything you wanted to know about literary agents
On the getting of agents
Writer Beware
Miss Snark
Writer's Net

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(and my Wish List)

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Christmas Light Shows (on YouTube)  
YouTube - El Paso Christmas Light Show 2007

"Over 120,000 lights in synch to the music of The Trans-Siberian Orchestra." (adrianh1969)

They say it's good to have a hobby. Hmmm. I'm amazed, but torn wondering if it'd be possible to put all this time, energy & expertise into something … "better"? … then, I guess it could have gone into something worse. And I suppose this is creating some kind of good in the world.

Does anyone else find the 'Birnham Wood moving to Dunsinane' moments rather disturbing?

El Paso Christmas Light Show 2006 (YouTube link) [www.youtube.com/ watch?v=qkmvkVtdUJg]
Music: Trans-Siberian Orchestra

El Paso Christmas Light Show 2008 (YouTube link). This is the shortest, and starts off fairly quietly. It's possible I like this version best. [www.youtube.com/ watch?v=JZJfWMva8Sk&NR=1]

An altogether different version of A Christmas Story. Or, rather, a [C]HannuKwanzSolstMas tale. Father Christmas: The Untold Story (Whip of the Red Hunter )

Labels: christmas, video, writing

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:22 am

 
Crystalline: ౯/౧౧ (9th November)  
Crystal Night, 1938

www.thelooniverse.com/ books/ kastner.html

When, on November 10 1938 at 3 o'clock in the morning, I drove up the Berlin Tauentzien in a taxi, I heard glass tinkling on both sides of the street. It sounded as if dozens of wagons full of glass were being turned over. I looked out and saw, on the left and right, a man standing in front of about every fifth house, each using an iron rod to smash store windows with mighty blows. The job done, he walked over to the next shop with a measured pace and, with powerful calmth, dedicated himself to that one's still intact window-pane.
Except for these men, wearing black breeches, riding boots and civil jackets, there was no human being in sight. The taxi turned into the Kurfürstendamm. Here, too, men were standing at regular distances and with long bars smashed "Jewish" show windows. Each one seemed to have some five to ten windows for a job. Cascades of glass fell down, crushing on the concrete. It sounded as if the entire town existed of nothing but crashing glass. It was a drive right through a madman's dream.
Between Uhlandstraße and Knesebeckstraße I asked to stop, opened the door and was just putting my right foot on the street, when a man emerged from the nearest tree and softly and energetically told me: "Don't get out! Drive on at once!" It was a man in hat and cloak. "But listen", I started, "I just wanted to…" "No", he interrupted threateningly. "Getting out is forbidden! Get on your way at once!" He pushed me back into the car, beckoned the driver, threw the door shut, and the driver obeyed. On we went through the ghostly "splinter night".

Labels: anniversaries, Germany, history, writing, జర్మనీ

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 7:55 pm

 
33-Year-Old Memories of an Australian November  
What is happening in Canada, from Yarn Harlot (3-Dec-2008)
www.yarnharlot.ca/ blog/ archives/ 2008/ 12/ 03/ what_is_happening_in_canada.html

There is confusion over what's happening in Canada's government. This is a primer for non-Canadians (and some Canadians) about this mess

I may, someday, put up some links about 'The Dismissal' of November 11, 1975, Gough Whitlam, Sir John Kerr, Malcolm Fraser, et al. There's a shedload of material on't, including at least one television mini-series.

But we tend to forget it's not completely sui generis in Australian history, there were incidents in 1932 and 1808, for instance. I'm grateful to Epacris putting links to some material about these over at Making Light. Here 'tis.

From Australian Dictionary of Biography site:
Lang, John Thomas (Jack) (1876 - 1975)
Game, Sir Philip Woolcott (1876 - 1961)

Dismissal of a Premier - The Role of Governor Game (Dept of Education & Training)
Dismissal of Jack Lang (Interactive schooling, Year 10)

Dismissed From Office Lang Government (Original newspaper report, The Age, 14-May-1932)
Microphone, Reiss (Reisz) carbon granule, 1925 (not FDR's cigarette lighter … from Powerhouse Museum collection, explained on that page)

The Story of J T Lang by R. Dixon (1943) (somewhat partisan publication, from an interesting resource)
The Australian Republic Issue (Other Relevant Papers)
Library Catalogue record (1) Dismissal of a Premier - the Philip Game papers by Bethia Foott [sic]
Dismissal of a Premier: the Philip Game papers by Bethia Foote [sic] Library Catalogue record (2)

and the 'Rum Rebellion' of 1808

Captain Bligh's other mutiny (newspaper article)

'The Rum Rebellion' (same paper, multimedia piece with links elsewhere)

The Significance Of The Integrity System (Acessible by this page with link to PDF versions of speeches. Transcript also here or here) Or compare The coup of 1808 and the rule of law, an edited combination of two related speeches.

"The Governor's Man", a book by JHM Abbott ~1919 – historic fiction.

And this is one of the historic documents you can have a look at online — part of an exhibition IRL at the British Library: King Charles I's Death Warrant.

Labels: Australia, Canada, history, politics

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 11:16 am

 
Living in a rectilinear Klein Bottle  
May I draw readers' attention to one of this year's winners of the Australian Institute of Architecture awards, the Klein Bottle beach house on the Mornington Peninsula, outside Melbourne (Victoria). It's described here [Sydney-Melbourne rivalry? Phfft! Nah. Doesn't happen these days.] as “some metallic fungi-form zeppelin flung from outer space” (I'd interpolate 'geometric' or 'rectilinear' somewhere, not many curves; nor, in fact, my image of a Klein bottle. Memorable, however.)

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 3:21 pm

 
Songs of Love & Death  

From SubVerse, February 6, 2006
St. James Infirmary Blues
www.subverse.org/ 2006/ 02/ 06/ st-james-infirmary

This is a haunting song. … It’s a song about death. It’s about a man seeing the woman he loves stretched out dead on the hospital slab. But those horns rising and rising…. It’s a song about release. A song about acceptance. A song about drinking life in deeply, in all its pain and unfairness. … there are many covers of this song — a good 33 different versions … from Oing Boingo to Joe Cocker to The Dirty Dozen Brass Band …

Several mp3 links are on the linked page. The words & music slip, slide, merge & meld from person to person. It's entered the bloodstream of humanity's music, adapting.

Labels: mourning, mp3, music

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 12:32 pm

 
A Birthday Poem for the Dead; Testament  
From Bluejo's Journal, 14th October 2008:

She dances golden, in a drift of leaves,
she dances stark, skeletal, in the dark,
she dances in a cloud of solid green,
she dances with her branch and leaf and bark.

She dances with the birds, the wind, the street,
with child in stroller, with a hurrying nun,
with gardners, shoppers, lovers as they meet,
she dances, as we dance, around the sun.>

My late father's birthday. He now is "Rolled round in earths diurnal course, With rocks, and stones, and trees".
Made my Last Will & Testament today. At least a first best draft of it (signed, sealed, witnessed). Avoiding for once my besetting sin of Making The Perfedt The Enemy of The Good, I settled for a simple, cut-down version which at least gives a start, and will avoid for my survivors the hideous mess I was landed in by Chris' death intestate.

Labels: anniversaries, legalities, mourning, poetry

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:40 am

 
In the Spiral of History  
From Lawyers, Guns & Money, on Israel, the USA and the Roman Republic:
Simply because something must happen does not mean that it will happen.
Settlements, Bailouts, and the Roman Republic
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2008
lefarkins.blogspot.com/ 2008/ 09/ simply-because-something-must-happen.html

The Roman Republic faced a series of internal crises that were evident to all and that desperately required political solution; moreover, the contours of such solution were evident to most of the relevant political players, and in the abstract were achievable ... The institutions of the Roman Republic, solid enough for five hundred years, were insufficient to actually achieving the necessary solutions. In the face of crises that demanded solution, the Roman Republic crumbled, because the institutional structure created vested interests and veto points that prevented the achievement of any solution. The Republic could not save itself because its very structure prevented it from doing the things that were necessary to reform. Almost no one wanted this outcome, but no one could stop it from happening. It's not that people are stupid (although many are) or dishonest (although many are); its that the institutions make certain outcomes difficult to achieve.

and in the comments

Rob good post and good summation of the political situation in the Roman Republic in its last years. One interpretation of Julius Caesar's motives for bringing down the Republic, was that he didn't believe the existing political system could continue administering the Roman provinces. A good part of his career was spent in various postings in different provinces, in Bithnyia, Spain, northern Italy, and of course Gaul. So he had a better grasp of what the situation was like in the provinces than his political opponents, many of whom (like Cicero) hardly ever set foot outside of Rome their whole lives.
Henry | 09.30.08 - 11:49 pm | #

You might also make an analogy to August 1914. The Great Men of Europe certainly knew what should have happened and they knew how to make it happen. But it did not happen.

James E. Powell | 10.01.08 - 12:25 am

Labels: history, politics

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:25 pm

 
Poem: Right there on edge on mountain lip see cloud  
From Making Light's anecdotal thread, Pearls of great price, not to be devalued #268:

Right there on edge on mountain lip see cloud
swift move through sky, through steady clearest blue,
with every second become something new;
voices within declare you have been cowed
not knowing yet the force that is allowed
nor proper motion ready for its cue.
On neither side is the eternal view
but every sound right here is sharp and loud.
So you were eager then to find a space
just for yourself, and had so much to prove
and so much time; or so it was you thought
being a fool. Now there is little grace
for you to get into the rightful groove
and the robed judge has come into the court.

Fragano Ledgister October 05, 2008, 01:35 PM:
nielsenhayden.com/ makinglight/ archives/010613.html#298677

Labels: poems

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 12:39 pm

 
Life in a Temperate Climate: Autumn  
From Little Blog In The Big Woods :
The Last Dance (Wed, 24th Sep, 2008)
littlebloginthebigwoods.blogspot.com/ 2008/ 09/ last-dance.html

The turn of the year
There's a special autumn event I look for every year. It doesn't have a name.

Actually, I've never met anyone else who has seen it, or heard of it. A fact that makes me think, and wonder if that should worry me. Us.

It's quite a spectacular thing, when it happens. Spectacular as it is, though, it goes unnoticed; partly because at the best, it can only last for a half an hour. No more. And it doesn't happen every year, either.

It used to happen most years, at least in part. Now it happens less. That worries me, too ...

Repeated from 17-Sep-2007 (ittlebloginthebigwoods.blogspot.com/ 2007/ 09/ turn-of-year.html)

Labels: nature, writing

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:17 pm

 
Best Pirate Event Evah  
Possibly the best use ever of ITLAP Day (Which I keep calling ISLAP* Day): from the Arkansas Times' Arkansas Blog.

Way to go, matie!
Posted by Leslie Newell Peacock on September 19, 2008 09:36 AM
www.arktimes.com/blogs/arkansasblog/ 2008/ 09/ way_to_go_matie.aspx

"What do you do to make a bunch of soulless nutcases abandon their post at the Convention Center? Send in the pirates!
Yep, the cuckoo Phelps hate group walked the plank this morning after a happy bunch dressed like pirates and holding signs saying 'God hates shrimp -- Leviticus' and 'God hates cotton-polyester blends' stood opposite them at the corner of Markham and Scott streets. The group, made up of Central Arkansas Pastafarians, waved swords and growled 'Arrghh!'" …'

* International Speak Like a Pirate Day instead of Talk Like a Pirate.

Sorta-kinda related: International Free Hugs Day, inspired by 'Juan Mann', will be held in 90 countries on 19th October, 2008, according to the story below. No details yet — the website I can find is not operating.
(Recent news on Free Hugs Man: www.smh.com.au/ articles/ 2008/ 09/ 20/ 1221331273987.html)

Labels: Australia, humour, people, religion, society, USA

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 8:00 am

 
Nominative Non-Determinism  

Labels: celebrations, fun, words

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 4:29 pm

 
Premier Iemma, the Member for Lakemba  
I always liked saying that little tongue-twister, whether or not I agreed with the man's policies. Won't apply from today.
NSW Premier Morris Iemma resigns
"Alexandra Smith and Brian Robins
September 5, 2008 - 11:45AM
www.smh.com.au/ axrticles/ 2008/ 09/ 05/ 1220121483704.html

Morris Iemma has resigned as NSW Premier.
It is understood Water Minister Nathan Rees will take over.

Mr Iemma faced a caucus revolt this morning and Mr Rees had the numbers to overthrow Mr Iemma.

It is understood that there is so much division within the dominant Right faction that Mr Iemma appeared to have lost a significant amount of support from once-loyal backers.

Iemma rolled amid Labor turmoil
www.abc.net.au/ news/ stories/ 2008/ 09/ 05/2356267.htm

Morris Iemma has been forced to resign as New South Wales Premier after sacking his colourful Treasurer Michael Costa.

News that Mr Iemma was gone came in the wake of a press conference by Mr Costa, who said he did not consider that he had been sacked until the decision was ratified by a Caucus meeting.

Mr Iemma left a meeting of his Right faction without speaking to reporters, but is believed to have lost the support of the faction.

Labor heavyweight John Della Bosca confirmed Mr Iemma's resignation.

Quite a big day politically, as we are also acquiring our first female Governor-General today, Her name is Quentin Bryce. Some have wondered if her usually-male name confused the people appointing her.

Meanwhile, one of my cousins is going to the polls tomorrow, and sometime later as well. He's living in a place in New South Wales which currently doesn't have a Federal representative — Mark Vaile resigned and the by-election is tomorrow; a State representative — Ron Oakshott is contesting the Federal seat, and so had to resign as the State member; nor a local Council — they were sacked by the State government and replaced by administrators. Some have called this situation "paradise". The rest of NSW has local government elections the weekend after, on Saturday 13th September.

Labels: Australia, history, politics

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:07 pm

 
I'm Ba-ack  
Spent a month in the hospice attached to the hospital, getting to walk and use my hands again. Among other things, this meant no internet connection. Even when I got back to the flat, due to a stuff-up with assorted phone companies, my home phone had been disconnected. It took quite a bit of work to get it reconnected.

Took some photos, including ones of the Ward Cats. Will try and fill in some details of my stay as I have time and energy.

Labels: medical

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:05 pm

 
Aarrgh  
Not good news. I went downhill physically quite a bit last week. By the end of the week I virtually couldn't walk.

Because of the raw tender skin flaking & peeling on my feet (as well as hands), these horrible 2"–3" blisters have spread over the sole of my right foot. I've borrowed a walking frame from the hospital so I can hobble to the bathroom & kitchen, but it can take minutes to get the 20-odd feet, and is exhausting. Crawling is useful, faster, but can be wearing. Home help people & friends have been bringing food & supplies, taking laundry upstairs & retrieving it, preparing some dishes so I can just hobble over, grab, maybe heat them, & eat to keep up my strength. The doctor moved my tests to next week; I'll still need to be picked up, dropped back & wheelchaired thru the hospital but *hope* to be able to get down & up the 57 steps home somehow, possibly.

Have 'funny' story about friends & me & WYD. Will tell later when hands better. Do have this map from our driver outlining our second, more successful attempt to get me home.

Labels: medical, quotidian, wyd

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 11:01 pm

 
Urgh  
Haven't been able to do much of anything at all in the last week. Really badly affected. I've tried to at least get up & out of the flat — up on the roof is only 2 flights of steps, not 6 down to the ground — but just a walk down, across the road & 30-50 metres along to shop for milk/bread/etc, then back will leave me exhausted, sleeping for a couple of hours & with nasty pains in my feet. I'm trying to type mostly with my fingernails rather than fingertips, but anything one does with one's fingers normally — doing buttons or zips, handling cutlery, dialing a phone, using keys, etc, etc — hurts.

I'm hoping lots of rest, good food, vitamins, etc, will help. Think the World Youth Day 'pilgrims' will be walking past me on Saturday & Sunday, am considering whether to sit/stand on my front steps singing either or both versions of Boom de Yada (aka Boom De Ah Dah), & maybe Vatican Rag, or just wearing my Central Location T-shirt.

Labels: medical, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:56 pm

 
Bleh  
I'm in the third cycle of the Xeloda treatment — the one they changed to when the tests showed the first treatment protocol they tried wasn't working. Next week, at the end of this cycle they'll do another round of tests to see if this one has been doing better. I've been mostly able to control the nausea/diarrhoea, and it's nice to be getting hair back (except for the hair that's less popular, like the sub-prime moustache & beard).

The Hand-Foot Syndrome, though, makes life quite difficult and painful. Walking becomes not just tiring, but actually hurts — I'm reminded of the Little Mermaid — and doing all those little necessary, almost unnoticed stuff, like un/doing buttons or zips, turning keys, opening screw and non-screw lids of all kinds, using cutlery, even just writing, hurts and is awkward. White cotton gloves help somewhat, and being winter I can wear other gloves outside without looking too weird, which helps 'explain' my difficulty with getting coins out or picking up change.

What worries me is that if this is holding the cancer from expanding, but not shrinking it back, this drug is one they can keep you on long-term. I would hate to have to keep dealing with these symptoms for many months, or even some years. OTOH, it could be worse. We will see what we will see. Am hoping, unlike before, that cancer isn't advancing. At any time getting up the 57 steps can be a real chore, but it's worrying how just in the last week, following Don Giovanni, almost any walking has been exhausting & very painful.

Again, I'm so glad for the Australian medical system. These tablets are $700 a packet (about a cycle's worth), but I'm paying ~$30. I got a statement from MBF showing the thousands they've paid out in the last year (admittedly having paid them w/o claiming for decades). Plus there's the weekly home help. Recently Thomas M Disch, the American writer, poet & critic, committed suicide partly because he'd been bankrupted by the terminal illness of his partner and was being hounded out of his rent-controlled flat (also discussed at nielsenhayden.com/ makinglight/ archives/ 010413.html as well as elsewhere on teh Intartubes).

I've been continuing work at home, and got an injection of new leave to juggle at the anniversary.. I went in on the afternoon of my anniversary, after my earlier doctor's appointment, but was feeling quite sick, so I didn't go around to see different people. Luckily they didn't have anything arranged.

Am coping with the new flat, tho' it still has problems. I need to keep at the Strata Management people to get the leaking roof fixed, for instance. There's still things packed up in boxes, maybe 'cos I'm thingy about having to do it to move out, possibly in September when the lease expires. We've had a few problems with the flat nearby being renovated with sledgehammers and small jackhammers. Especially when they left the door open and cement dust got *everywhere*.

Labels: home, medical, quotidian, society

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 8:48 pm

 
PZ Myers: Darwin Year begins now  
Pharyngula The Darwin year begins…NOW!:

It was on 1 July 1858, 150 years ago today, that the idea of natural selection was first presented to the public in a joint reading of Darwin's and Wallace's papers at the Linnean Society of London

Some Darwin-related Links

Darwin Today - a joint initiative of Research Councils UK aimed at educating the public about evolution
The Complete Work of Charles Darwin Online; free, includes items not in public domain
Works by Charles Darwin at Project Gutenberg; public domain
Darwin Correspondence Project: Text and notes for most of his letters
The Darwin Digital Library of Evolution
On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection: Free LibriVox Audiobook
Digitized titles by Charles Darwin in Botanicus.org
Charles Darwin at the Open Directory Project
Works by or about Charles Darwin in libraries (WorldCat catalogue)
Institut Charles Darwin International
A Pictorial Biography of Charles Darwin
Twelve different portraits of Charles Darwin, National Portrait Gallery, U.K.
Mis-portrayal of Darwin as a Racist

Labels: anniversaries, history, links, nature, science

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 9:54 pm

 
A Century of Tunguska  
Monday, June 30, 2008 — One hundred years ago today, something exploded over Siberia

At a little after seven in the morning, settlers near the north end of Lake Baikal saw something bright appear in the sky, crossing to the northwest leaving a trail behind it. As it touched the horizon, it was transformed into a column of black smoke in which flames could be seen. Soon after, they felt a thump in the ground and heard a series of bangs that they compared to artillery in the distance. Other villagers to the west of them gave similar descriptions. Later scientific expeditions would locate the ground zero of the explosion in a remote area among the tributaries of the Podkamennaya (Stony or Lower) Tunguska River. Seismic stations around the world recorded the ground movement and set the time at precisely 07:17:11 AM.

(An excellent telling of the history in the 'Archy' blog)

Labels: anniversaries, astronomy, history, nature

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 9:55 pm

 
Time: slow, slow, quick, quick, slow?  
Have been thinking again — dangerous, that — Chris and I were together some 6 years (after knowing each other about a year); he's been dead a bit more than 6 years now. (I'll be coming up to being 'widowed' longer than knowing him pretty soon.) He's been one of the most important things in much of my life for coming up to 13 years. It seems a long time, getting close to a quarter of my life.

And it's a quarterday — six months to Christmas is St John's Day, the traditional midsummer celebrations in Europe. Here we're just past the shortest day/longest night, heading into the depths of cold, but looking forward to light gradually incrementing.

Labels: feelings, memory, mourning, thoughts, time

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 11:33 pm

 
elisem: the day after Fourth Street happens to be Mammalversary  
Have been thinking again — dangerous, that — Chris and I were together some 6 years (after knowing each other about a year); he's been dead a bit more than 6 years now. (I'll be coming up to being 'widowed' longer than knowing him pretty soon.) He's been one of the most important things in much of my life for coming up to 13 years. It seems a long time.

Labels: politics, statistics, USA

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:10 am

 
USA Presidential Election statistics  

Nixonland - Rick Perlstein - Book Review - New York Times

Bring Us Apart
by George F. Will
Published: May 11, 2008

"Perlstein considers it significant that before the 1972 election, in which Nixon carried 49 states, James Reston wrote that “barely over one in four adult Americans will have voted for the winner in 1972. ... The consequences of that kind of a minority presidency are hard to foretell.” Actually, such “minority” presidents are not unusual. In 1980, when Ronald Reagan carried 44 states and defeated President Jimmy Carter 489-49 in electoral votes, Reagan won the votes of 26.9 percent of American adults. The winners of the 1996, 2000 and 2004 elections received 24 percent, 24.1 percent and 28.2 percent, respectively."
…
Perlstein’s thesis is that America became Nixonland because of “the rise of two American identities” in the 1960s — actually between 1964, when Johnson won 61.1 percent of the vote, and 1968, when the combined votes for Nixon and George Wallace were 56.9 percent. Perlstein says Nixon’s legacy is the “notion that there are two kinds of Americans. …”

Labels: books, politics, statistics, USA

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 11:57 pm

 
Magpie Telegraph Alert System  
My Tormenting Temptress, Elysian One, has had a bit of an unpleasant time and setback recently. She's started a special sudden June Shiny Sale of her jewellery to help recover. It's fascinating, captivating, intriguing, sometimes glorious, stuff. Or pretty and shiny, if you will. Maybe you'll like it.

The names of the pieces — are there many makers who give names to their jewels? — can send your imagination spiraling in all sorts of ways. Contemplation has inspired different people to other creative endeavours, and they've put together a chapbook with stories, poems, essays matched with their Muse-in-Artifact: “Glass Bead Games”. That's up for pre-order at the moment too. Two of my small obsessions intertwined in a nefarious snare! <makes dramatic 'suffering' gesture>

Go therefore! Feast your eyes and imagination; remove <curse you; bless you> temptations!

And if you're coming on this entry sometime in futurity when the sale & so forth is past, still go thou, and check out what's happening at 'Honor Your Inner Magpie', or what was happening back in the day …

Labels: beauty, books, links, shiny, shopping

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 5:40 pm

 
Xeloda (Capecitabine) - Side Effects of Chemotherapy Drugs  
Xeloda and Capecitabine - Side Effects of Xeloda - Chemotherapy Drugs: "Xeloda �
Generic Name:�Capecitabine"
www.chemocare.com/ bio/ xeloda.asp

Hand-Foot Syndrome

Xeloda (Capecitabine) cancer treatment, side-effect: Hand -foot syndrome (Palmar-plantar erythrodysesthesia or PPE) Skin rash, swelling, redness, pain and/or peeling of the skin on the palms of hands and soles of feet.
(see also www.chemocare.com/bio/xeloda.asp)

A mild version, the reddness doesn't show up very well. On the hands it is on the last joint of the fingers and thumb, with another patch where the thumb joins the palm. On the feet, it's on the bottom of toes and mostly the ball and non-arch middle section of the soles. Skin is peeling on some of the left (lymphodeomic) hand, the balls of both feet and some toes.

Xeloda belongs to the category of chemotherapy drugs called antimetabolites, subcategory "Pyrimidine antagonist". It is prescribed to treat Metastatic breast, colon or rectal cancer.

Labels: cancer, chemotherapy, medical, medicine, pix, treatment

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 12:59 pm

 
On Certainty, Fallibility, etc.  
The problem has been noted, sadly, for some time

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. — Bertrand Russell

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
     WB Yeats, The Second Coming

It is also put clearly, passionately, and with references to its possible effects in the 'Knowledge and Certainty' episode of The Ascent of Man, by Jacob Bronowski; quoted in The Danger of Knowing for Sure, and here, as well as part of discussing 'Science', mostly under the heading "science as a candle in the dark".

There's even scientific studies of a related phenomenon. My link to this has gone dead, so here's info to track it down with.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology - December 1999 Vol. 77, No. 6, 1121-1134
Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments
Justin Kruger and David Dunning, Department of Psychology, Cornell University

Labels: bronowski, certainty, poetry

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:26 pm

 
Takin' a Trip  
My friends are looking out for me. They took me for a couple of days to the Southern Highlands of New South Wales — see Flickr set "Southern Highlands Visit, May 2008"

Panorama

(large image)

Labels: Australia, panoramas, people, pix, travel

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 2:31 am

 
Milky Way panorama (APOD May 3rd)  
APOD: 2008 May 3 - Alborz Mountain Milky Way: Snow-capped stratovolcano Mt. Damavand climbs to 5,670 meters (18,598 feet) near the left edge in this panoramic view above the Alborz Mountain Range bordering the Caspian Sea.

Labels: astronomy, panoramas, pix

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 2:48 pm

 
May Day plus One  
Mother's Birthday.
Anniversary at work. Went into work after doctor's appointment at lunchtime, where I felt sick and weak and had to lie down. Still didn't feel that good, but plugged on with a bit of trying to set up changed stuff following merger of company. My immediate boss had taken the day off for a long weekend, so I couldn't talk about leave & such. I guess they weren't expecting me — I said I'd try to get in, but couldn't say for sure, and had missed Special Merger Event recently with similar message — so there was no particular celebration for the anniversary.

Decided that sickness & such was probably due to lack of proper food combining badly with chemotherapy drugs, so ate food I'd planned on saving for dinner. Also bought ‘karmically correct’ chicken dinner with roast veggies from Roaming Bird near Coles in Pyrmont. Then friends invited me to their place for dinner, so although I was still shaky, ended up well-nourished and watched good Fellini film called “Intervista”.

Labels: anniversaries, memories, mourning

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:55 pm

 
For International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Day 2008  
A link to its netplace, and a posting on this journal of the text of a eulogy for my late better half.
Eulogy

Thank you all -- or ‘grazie’ as Chris would say -- for gathering here today to remember Christopher's life, appreciate his achievements & mourn his loss.

We usually hear here that no man is an island, but for Chris I'd rather draw out a much older metaphor & its current reflections. There are old stories indeed of the spirits who governed human fates, spinning each life thread, interweaving it with others & finally cutting it off. “The rich tapestry of life”, “the web of life”, “it takes all kinds”, are all cliches now, but they expressed a deep & ancient truth sustaining all life & human society. In these unpoetic times perhaps the word would be “biodiversity”.

These all say that we shouldn't be seduced by the big bright eye-catching distractions -- the gorgeously coloured & figured cloth gets its strength from the hidden warp & is held together by finer inconspicuous weft threads. The grandest forest tree or flaunting flower meadow; carolling fine-plumed birds on sunlit branches; the furry cute or sleeker beasts, could not exist, would not continue, without the soil fungus & creepy-crawlies, the lowly groundcovers & understorey shrubs, the buzzing bothering insects & more modest animals.
It's obvious that glittering, fluttering, spotlit celebrities & rampant executive officers depend absolutely on their circling hierarchy of underlings. It takes longer to appreciate not just the necessary interdependence* of the underpinnings of civilization's edifice but how each is supported** by a net of barely-thought-of functions.

From his law & engineering training, from long practice with computer networks, and many, many bush & sailing experiences, Chris had a feel for the great dance of balances that creates an apparently-serene equilibrium. He contributed through his work in Canberra, at Prospect County Council/Integral Energy & the NSW Fire Brigades, outside work in GROW & through his letters, talkback & online forums, his quiet charities & personal generosities towards those grand human endeavours: to give merited respect to all the kinds & conditions of people so us humans can at least rub along together; likewise, to show respect for the non-human biosphere so we can have long-term mutual survival in Australia & beyond.

But now the shears have closed, his thread snapped; our tapestry from now weaker by the pinch of starstuff that's in a man; the sea which refuses no river has accepted it back.

So now a farewell from another second-millennium man, one who wrote plays that like life itself defy categorization, who knew man & nature, encompassing many:

Fear no more the heat o' th' sun
Nor the furious winter's rages
Thou thy worldly task hast done
Home art gone and ta'en thy wages
Golden lads and girls all must
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust

Thank you again.

*Example: Fire Department depends on good roads, reliable water, other suppliers, etc.
**Example: Firefighters supported by maintenance, communications, pay-roll, etc.

April 12, 2002

Labels: memorials, memory, mourning, technopeasant

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:32 pm

 
Fun & Fantasy in Bloomington, Minnesota  

Just In Case someone is reading this, here's some information about something you might enjoy, if you're able to be there.
Fourth Street Fantasy Convention (see www.4thstreetfantasy.com)

I’ve heard tales, … I know people who traveled to [it] … It is a place where conversations have depth, and plant seeds of thought, sometimes even seeds of creativity. A place with music which opens up vistas that words cannot. A place of companionship, small and comfortable, but varied and lively.
One unique thing about programming at Fourth Street Fantasy Convention is that there’s just a single track of programming, that way we’re all part of the same ongoing conversation.
I’ve gotten together many of the people who made Fourth Street Fantasy Convention happen before, and asked them to help me make it happen again.

From 1986 to 1995, Steven Brust and his friends put on a deep, intelligent, and intimate convention on the literature of the fantastic. In 2008, it will return.

June 20 - 22, 2008 at the Holiday Inn Select Airport Hotel in Bloomington (Minneapolis), Minnesota.

One of the people whose Livejournal I look in on a fair bit is having a party there, with readings and a book launch. Perhaps that will tempt you along, if that's physically possible.

Labels: information, links, science fiction, USA

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 7:33 pm

 
 
Cackhanded
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cac1.htm

NY Times - Health
A Disease That Allowed Torrents of Creativity
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/08/health/08brai.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/08/health/08brai.html?em&ex=1207886400&en=ea896328b745feea&ei=5087%0A
By SANDRA BLAKESLEE
Published: April 8, 2008

New York Times - Art & Design - PHOTOGRAPHY REVIEW
In Atta Kim’s Long-Exposure Photographs, Real Time Is the Most Surreal of All
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/12/arts/design/12atta.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/12/arts/design/12atta.html?ex=1310356800&en=758dc920ebfd80f1&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
By HOLLAND COTTER
Published: July 12, 2006

“Atta Kim: On-Air” at the International Center of Photography
His view of Times Square leaves all the stationary elements — buildings and such — in crisp focus, but reduces traffic to a shimmering haze, a ghost of motion. Other famous New York intersections get the same treatment...
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2006/07/12/arts/12atta_CA3.html

I, Corpuscle
Every once in a while, I encounter an image that precisely expresses something of the way I feel about life. This morning was one of those "once in a whiles". This image, from "On-Air", an exhibition of Korean photographer Atta Kim's work currently at the International Center of Photography, is one of those images:

That's a photograph, an eight-hour exposure, of the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Fifty-seventh Street, looking south, here in New York City. I've walked through that intersection I don't know how many times on my way to my dentist's office. I've stood on that very corner at the right of the frame. I may even be in that picture. I could be — no way to know unless and until I find out the date and time on which the picture was taken.

But whether I'm technically in that particular photo, I'm certainly in it spiritually.

Granted, this is not the first time we've seen this type of photograph -- a long exposure wherein all that is alive is smeared into irrelevance, and all that is not alive remains clear and solid. Naturally, if we increased the exposure time -- to 800 years, say, instead of a mere eight hours — what seems clear and solid in this photo would smear into irrelevance just like the car and foot traffic above. Which is pretty much the essence of my response to this image.

As I said, I could be part of that smear in the lower right hand corner of the image. I certainly see myself there. My life, looked at one way, is an irrelevant smear — and yet it never feels that way to me. I look at that corner and I recall all the times I've stood there, lost in thought, ear buds in my ears, listening to one of my (liberal) talk shows, waiting for the light to change so I can cross.

The irony is that the irrelevant smear of life in that image is the very thing that reminds me I am here, and that I am as clear and as solid as all that is clear and solid in that image. But I know that I'm only clear and solid in my own time scale. My time scale is as justifiable as any other, but that does not make it the only time scale there is.

I'm haunted by time. I know that I was burped up by time and that I will — too soon for my tastes — be swallowed by it again. That fact is right there in that image above. But what's also there is this: Being reminded I am merely a part of the bloodstream reminds me of my own, um... corpuscularity.
July 12, 2006 at 07:19 AM

Labels: links, pix

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 9:40 pm

 
Failure and Persistence of Memory  
[NB: If I could make Blogger's "expandable posts" work like LJ-cuts, I'd tuck this & other long posts away. Any advice?]
Looking for something about the Gray Order of anti-Nazi liberal Catholics ..., mentioned in the Making Light thread 'Winning Hearts and Minds' (September 27, 2005, 12:19 AM:) by bellatrys

---

A few weeks? months? back [see below] I posted the link on my blog to an "On This Day" from the BBC (a feature where they post what was on their broadcasts 10, 20, 50 years ago) - a lengthy diatribe against the genocidal actions of the Nazis against the Jews, by a British cabinet official, from 1942 or 43. So those who say that the Allies didn't know, or couldn't have known, are just wrong. The truth *was* out there. And around the same time I posted a lot of the leaflets of the White Rose, with background information on the membership, and how they found out about the atrocities in Poland and Russia - some of these kids were in the German Army, remember, and working as medics because that was the closest they could get to CO status - some of the guys saw things themselves, and came home on leave, or heard about them from buddies who *committed* them. They were *adamant* in their reproaches, directed towards their fellow German citizens, that only those who chose not to know as hard as they could, who made the mental choice to disregard the testimony of atrocity as "unreliable" compared to the assurances of their government that they were behaving honorably towards the Poles and Russians, who were themselves barbarians - only willful ignorance among adults was possible. (Remember that many of them were teens, had been resisting since they were *young* teens some of them, and none of them very old at all, except for the professor they recruited eventually.)

... The only hard stuff was tracking down about the Gray Order, the extinct liberal Catholic youth group, which has been almost totally memoryholed and required a lot of translating of German source matter.

In short, "none so deaf as will not hear, none so blind as will not see." As ever. Why? Because knowledge requires change of belief; change of belief requires action, or change of action, or cessation of action.

---

who refers to an earlier entry, which I'm excerpting here.

5th subhead of You just can't get away from it, it's like the humidity (July 26th, 2005)

---

Collective Failures of Memory, Part I
The "mythtery" that is commonly taught and accepted, which is not even part of the "history is written by the victors" problem but the unacknowledged "apparently, history is written by the same people who come up with urban legends" problem, is all around us. How often have you "learned" that "they" thought the earth was flat in the middle ages, and Columbus challenged Church and State to prove his radical new idea that the world is round, after all? 100% false, apparently first concoted by Washington Irving of Headless Horseman fame, to spice up a children's textbook that he was writing over a hundred years ago. Easily debunkable, too. But who cares about textual provenance and first hand sources?

Now, here's another one you've probably all heard: nobody knew about the genocides during WWII, until after the death camps were taken by Allied troops. Recited as dogma, over and over again. Who of those who recite it has ever gone and looked at old newspapers or other contemporary records? Obviously, none. That people in Germany didn't know, couldn't have known (unless of course they were a) being rounded up, b) doing the rounding) is also frequently recited, and yet as I showed by finding the text of the White Rose's press releases not long ago, this was false.

Equally, so was the rest of it. People may have chosen not to believe it back then, the way people in America are choosing to believe that no real torture has been committed by us upon our prisoners - but the truth was out there.

BBC "On this day" - December 17, 1942
The British Foreign Secretary, Anthony Eden, has told the House of Commons about mass executions of Jews by Germans in occupied Europe…

---

You just can't get away from it, it's like the humidity - Collective Failures of Memory, Part I
08:54 pm July 26th, 2005
http://bellatrys.livejournal.com/137966.html

BBC "On this day" - December 17, 1942
http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/december/17/newsid_3547000/3547151.stm
1942: Britain condemns massacre of Jews
The British Foreign Secretary, Anthony Eden, has told the House of Commons about mass executions of Jews by Germans in occupied Europe... Four days ago, synagogues all over Britain held a day of mourning as a mark of concern for the massacre of the Jews in Nazi-occupied Europe …

Labels: BBC, history, memory

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:06 pm

 
The Brain Rummager  
The Brain Rummager – Brian Barratt's page(s)

Herein find: "... word puzzles; quizzes; creative thinking; creative writing; anagrams; homophones & homonyms; crossword puzzles; weird pictures; Aesop's Fables; fractal thinking; an ET hamburger; weird creatures; the amazing Mandelbrot fractal; proverbs and sayings; dragons; the Unpeople behind the dark; curious words and spellings; 17th century books; The First Folio of Shakespeare; letters of the alphabet; potions and spells; written expression; the Seven Wonders of the World; thinking skills; nonsense verse; and much more."

From Brian Barratt, who also advises: 'Persons not wishing to see worlds outside or inside themselves are gently advised to close their minds whilst in this place'

Labels: language, links

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 1:08 pm

 
Rootedness & connection: where to లైవ్  
At the end of the block behind my house is a site that used to be, in the late 1920s, an orange juice bottling factory. My mother was born on the kitchen table, either of the house I'm in or one in the block behind which was demolished for a warehouse, since demolished while I lived here for a block of flats.

She had to leave school at the age of 13 because she was the eldest girl and her mother had just had twins (One is the only survivor of that generation now). She was needed to help look after the other 3 children and the house. Underage, she had to go to night school, until aged 15 when she could legally leave, or a bit after, as The Great Depression hit in 1929. That juice factory so close to home was her first job. (Later, older, she would walk to another workplace in Glebe around where the Max Factor building is or was. (She walked to save tram fare. I caught the 459 bus when I worked in the area, but now you have to walk again because of the success of the Public Transport Prevention Group.)

For many years the 1920s-style building was almost unchanged, I knew it as a tubing wholesaler (tho' you could also go in & get the odd length of conduit or whatever if you needed it). As the City West development went ahead, & fancied up the place a bit (& put in rental incentives) they moved or closed and DCC (ECC?) Electrical(?) opened up, full of unaffordable & sometimes beautiful light fittings and related objects. Some years later they moved to the Eastern Suburbs, like DeCeCe and that Gallery whose name I've forgotten, which was in the top floor of the City West Building behind the park on Gipps/Harris/Pyrmont Bridge. In the moving sale I could afford the light fitting that will go into the upstairs back room if/when all the work is done.

Empty for a while, it became the Liberal Party HQ for the election that Kerry Chikarovski was leader. Lord, I was tempted to write out a screed of criticism and suggestions for them, make a hundred copies, post a few to them, scatter them around inside, tape them on the windows and power poles, etc.

Now it's been demolished and a bigger block of flats built there. It would have made a nice small block just rejigged, but that wasn't enough profit.


This is the sort of thing that makes me feel connected and rooted in a place, even though I grew up in a different suburb, and reluctant to move away. I could move back to where I grew up, which has fairly good transport. facilities and 'amenity', but is considerably further from the hospital and its services. It may have good local government social services, but I believe the local health area is having problems. Property is very expensive there, I'd go back to my parents' flat unless I could afford my grandmother's semi-detached cottage, single story with a garden (what I'd prefer).
Another possibility is a nice place I stayed on Wigram Rd in Glebe, single story with a garden but close to transport and shops. Now the 459 bus is gone, getting to the city & on to hospital is worse, even with Light Rail added, but it's on the same side of the Harbour.

Labels: family, health, history, Pyrmont, Sydney

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:46 pm

 
Possibly Good News  
I looked at a one-room flat in a nearby building before it was open for general public inspection — had to go to agent with money & ID, leave that and take keys to do my own inspection, then go back to agent with keys and reclaim money & ID. Very tired and slow-moving, and by the end of this I was pretty exhausted.









Good: Flat was bigger than many I've seen, with a reasonable rent, and the building was in the right area. The windows look out into the courtyard of the U-shaped block, which means although it's on a fairly busy road, the flat is quieter — this might mean it's a bit darker. It has a bath, the kitchen is bigger than my current one — room to put the bar fridge & a microwave, and it has a built-in wardrobe. I'm hoping the existing bookshelf will stay. The building has internal laundries, and rooftop decks with clotheslines as well as tables & chairs.

Bad: Like my current flat, this is upstairs on the 2nd floor (3rd level) without a lift. There may even be more actual steps. It's smaller, and in only one room. There's a two-burner electric 'cooktop', no oven or griller. It is rather closer to the local building where people with drug & mental problems have lodging. I'd need to go past it, where they hang out on or by the footpath. I'm also slightly worried that some of the residents might be of a similar kind. This might be why the rent was affordable.

Anyway, I've filled out the application form and left a week's rent as a deposit on Friday. The agent said that they'd make out a lease and told me how much I'd need to bring for the bond + assorted fees. They seem to be assuming that I am The One. Again, this makes me slightly worried. If everywhere else has potential renters climbing over each other, why are they so eager to grab me? OTOH, it's so close to what I want & need, and almost dropping into my hands, so should I be so doubtful?

So, if the lease starts next week I will have some time to pack and move from where I am before they are breathing down my neck to get out. Fingers crossed that nasty things don't happen, after all the distress.

Labels: housing

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 8:25 pm

 
Yet more trouble  
Went into yet another tailspin on Wednesday when, after sending back some work by email, my boss sent me her calculations on how much leave I had. It worked out that there were about 3 weeks left before I went onto leave without pay, unless I worked some extra days, either at home or going in.

I thought this meant that I couldn't afford to rent, and would have to move back to my own place, still in need of repairs and with much other difficulties, including having a 'transfer of care', with all my non-direct medical and social care (everything but chemotherapy) coming through a different health area — probably Royal Prince Alfred Hospital. After a while, and some talking with a number of people, I think with some juggling I can manage to still rent during my (indefinitely-timed) treatment, keeping me close to St Vincent's Hospital, and get repairs done to my house during that time, so I can move back there afterwards. We will see. It may be too close to the wind for me.

Medical: Blood tests from last week weren't good enough to have second dose of chemotherapy, so it was postponed to this Friday (7th March). When I went in for blood tests and to talk to the social worker, etc, I found that the appointment hadn't been moved, so the drugs weren't ordered, etc, and they had to move my next chemotherapy date to Monday 10th March. Lord knows what will happen to my chemotherapy dates around Easter, steaming up behind us quite quickly.

Labels: health, housing, medical

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 8:18 pm

 
Sydney Mardi Gras  
Thirtieth Anniversay. Paranoid about immune suppression, as well as very tired and weak, so just had a quiet time. Very early on took some photos of crowd, caught a distant glimpse of the march, went & sat in pizza parlour to rest, home, then watched the aftermath from the roof; crowds moving up & down my street, and sitting in the local cafes. Not a night anyone living here can sleep early, far too much noise: whistles, cheers, fireworks – 'Nessun Dorma'.

Labels: anniversaries, celebrations, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 11:22 pm

 
cleek: Tricksey – jewel  
cleek: Tricksey Monday Cat Blogging (February 26, 2007)

Labels: animals, cats, pix

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 5:44 pm

 
cleek: Monday Cat Blogging (April 23, 2007)  
cleek � Monday Cat Blogging (April 23, 2007)

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 5:41 pm

 
The Day After  
Wiped flat physically, and probably mentally. In the morning I managed a tiny bit of tidying and cleaning ready for the "compacks" lady tomorrow. Got through the rest of the day without collapsing and kept temperature under control, unlike after previous chemotherapy dose. Friends came over in the evening (I barely held on to consciousness waiting) and buzzcut the last of my hair off. I dunno about this whole "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" idea, though.

Labels: quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 9:22 pm

 
Flat Inspection Day 1  
Oh my god.
Very tired, especially after final inspection — had to stand for over 30 minutes in street with over 40 others as agent ran late. Yes, there's some very small, awkward places going for high prices, with lots of people looking for somewhere to live.

Crawling back from far side of hospital (257 Darlinghurst Rd) I stopped off to have a late lunch of Filet Mignon upstairs at the Courthouse Hotel, overlooking Taylor Square. Am trying to take these little luxuries in life, as I may not be able to for much longer. Who can tell.

Labels: housing, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:08 pm

 
Metastasis Chemotherapy: Cycle 2, Day 1  
Second chemotherapy cycle started, went quickly with pre-needled port from community nurse yesterday, who took blood for pre-chemo tests.
Saw social worker about eviction, other issues, she didn't have much hope. Also saw breast cancer nurse, she found new compression sleeve still far too long — 45cm long where my arm is 37cm.

Got salads on way home, sat in Batuta over a pot of tea. Did other shopping in afternoon. Spent time looking online for new flat, finding about inspections tomorrow. Very challenged, rather depressed, about finding another place and having to move.

Labels: medical, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 9:11 pm

 
Still more excitement  
Spent quiet several hours sitting around while workman came in to do repairs on kitchen & balcony walls & ceiling. Innocently thought this was good. After he left, friend arrived and we went downstairs to do some shopping. There was a letter in my mailbox.

It was an eviction notice. I have until just before Anzac Day (~60 days).

Just what I need now.

Labels: housing, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 8:59 pm

 
Still Not Dead Yet  
OK. Back home after nearly 3 weeks in hospital. Sick, tired, PTSD from some procedures and experiences. Will try to fill in on what's happened as I'm able.

Good to have my interconnectivity restored.

Labels: medical, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:20 am

 
New Chemotherapy Regime: Cycle 1; Day 1  

A full day. The implanted port was 'undressed' and used to inject the different drugs, including not just the cytotoxic therapeutic ones, but the ones used to combat the side effects, like anti-nausea drugs, anti-allergy ones for the taxol, which can affect some people badly, and a final dose of heparin to 'lock' the catheter and help stop blood clotting in it.
Attended at 9am, as the appointment said, but wasn't called until after 10am. With getting the dressing off the newly implanted injection port and putting in the anti-nausea drugs first, it took some while again to start the three-hour infusion of the first chemotherapeutic drug, then it was flushed for a while with saline. They may have injected something to prepare for the next drug into that.

I'd already taken an anti-histamine tablet in the morning before getting to the hospital, as well as some other drugs to counteract nausea and diarrhoea, so I'm unsure about that. They were keeping me busy with filling out forms, reading through and discussing information about possible side-effects and what to do about them, arranging for the physiotherapist to look at my arm when I come back next Friday, arranging for the stitches around the port to be removed next Friday, discussing my support at home, etc, etc. They also supplied me with a cup of tea, cheese and cracker biscuits, and later at lunchtime orange juice and a sandwich. A couple of times I needed to unplug the pump and put it onto battery power, wheel it with all its attached dripbags and tubing, carefully held so it didn't tangle or get caught up or drag across the floor, down the ward and into the toilet. You're getting a fair amount of fluid put directly into your system through all this. The old lady in the next chair was nervous about that, and had to wait for one of the nurses or assistants to help her with all the equipment. That's one good thing I get from practice during all the time I spent in hospital or the accident & emergency department, or chemotherapy before.

Then they infused the taxol drug for an hour and flushed it through with saline again, and finally detached all the tubing and suchlike except for a final short section of tube with a tap-end to attach to a syringe. They used this to infuse a batch of heparin solution to stop blood clotting in the catheter, and finally removed the needle in the port and bandaged it lightly. By this time it was well after 4pm.c

Labels: medical, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:44 pm

 
Port Implantation Day  
Under local anaesthetic only, in the 5th Level Day Procedure area of St Vincent's. Quite an experience. Will try to write in more detail when I feel up to it.

For an explanation of this piece of medical equipment, check this Boston Scientific link to their Vaxcel® Implantable Ports, which also has photos of different models and a diagram of how it sits when implanted.

Labels: medical, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 10:33 pm

 
More Stabs in the Back (Lung Drained Again)  
Not the sort of experience one approaches with joy, even though you may be hoping that the procedure wiil help you feel quite a bit better. It would also be nice if they only needed one go. Both times now they've needed two stabs to get it right. Alarmingly, this time instead of a light straw-coloured fluid, it was a reddish, bloodstained colour. They also managed to get out quite a bit more fluid this time, for one reason or another. Again, although it did considerably help with my breathing, because of the collapsed structure, I'm still fairly short of breath.

Labels: medical, quotidian

More ... [permalink] posted by Mez at 11:45 pm